Bush's Colon - Or the Neutering of Karl Rove

huffingtonpost.com
Bush's Colon - Or the Neutering of Karl Rove
Larisa Alexandrovna

So Karl Rove, the overly hyped boy-genius (Give any criminal enough money and power and they automatically qualify for genius level. Go figure.) of the Republican Reich unveils his campaign strategy for the upcoming mid-term elections. Rove does not seem to realize, however, that le jig is up and that he stands holding his little wee wee against the backdrop of the most corrupt administration in US history, an infestation so serious that it may be the final blow to the healthy body of US democracy.

Spreading like the worst kind of sickness, the culture of corruption has permeated into the pores of open and honest government, in every branch and at every level. Standing at the nucleus of this pathetic sepsis, Karl (along with his Ken doll) thinks the GOP can regurgitate the rot and sell it again, as though every GOP talking point, party platform issue, and campaign promise is not already infected.

Let the Hooking Begin

Karl says: "The GOP's progress during the last four decades is a stunning political achievement"

Reality: Maybe, but the Big Brain neglects to mention that the GOP's stunning failures in the last five years, coupled with corruption, greed, and power lust, have undone anything ever accomplished by this party that is currently closer to Mussolini than it is to Reagan or Eisenhower.

Let's run down memory lane for the Rove-blitz gang:

-On the Economy: Under the Republican Corporatist motto of compassionate luxury, they have managed to take down the entire US economy, and no amount of "four decades of achievement" blah blah will undo what they have so brazenly done.

For Rove and his ownership- of- society Klan, fiscal responsibility and the rule of law are just so "pre-911." As always, heir Rove is prepared to rape and exploit a national tragedy for political gain, again and without conscience.

"Republicans have a post 9/11 worldview" to account for lack of anything else to say, Rove coos to his purchased army of supporters.

If man was devolving into a psychotic pit of rotted plasma, Rove would be the Alpha of such grime.

But how does this little worldview balance the pillaging of the entire US economy earned on the backs of taxpayers (the godly and ungodly alike) in order to attack a nation - Iraq - that had nothing to do with 9/11 nor posed any threat to US national security whatsoever? Is this the waltz of the fiscally deranged?

Or how does a "post 9/11 worldview" resolve the no bid contracts to Halliburton, or the lost $8.8 billion dollars gone missing all magic like?

How does this new and improved uber worldview justify once again bankrupting the US treasury to pay for the criminal negligence of appointing yet another Bush Pioneer to a position of importance that he is not remotely qualified for? This appointment in particular, one of life and death and national security is no small thing and yet a horse whisperer for the Saudi stable is charged with a budget that goes poof in the night (like all Bush Pioneer run US agencies), thousands upon thousands are killed, and the rest of the nation is left paying for yet another Halliburton no bid contract!

Then again losing a city is not the only historical first for this gang, when one considers that another Bush Pioneer and fellow K street money launderer was literally handcuffed and frog-marched straight to jail when just the day before he was heading the White House procurement office (d'oh).

Fiscal criminality anyone?

Perhaps it is best that the GOP venture away from the topic of Economy as quickly as possible and move to something they have had better success with. How about the much hyped National Security?


-On National Security: Well, unless you have been kept in a cave for the last five years while doped up on a drip mixture of Fox News and crack cocaine, there is no question that the Republican Party has made a mockery of national security, even a sport of it.

Silly Karl, aren't you under investigation for the outing of a covert CIA officer working on WMD (you know, those things that make mushroom clouds and the fable of an excuse to justify invading Iraq?) in order to silence a critic of the White House? Maybe next year they can have Rove call in from prison to provide a lecture on ethics and National Security? Or perhaps "Dick Cheney's, Dick Cheney" can take time off from his trial for obstructing the investigation into the outing of Valerie Plame and explain the "post-911" Republican world view, just for shits and giggles even?

That aside, just what giant leaps toward securing the nation has this uber patriotic bunch made?

Well, they have used the Pentagon to infiltrate Quakers, the IRS to collect party affiliation information, the NSA to spy on everyone, the FBI to monitor the ACLU, PETA, and Greenpeace, and Homeland Security to track Texas Democrats . We can breathe a sigh of relief knowing that no Quakers, members of the ACLU, Greenpeace, or PETA will ever highjack a plane and smash it into a building.

Oh, but our borders, food supply, nuclear and chemical plants, cargo, emergency response, and every conceivable thing imaginable that would in fact secure our nation - NADA! Well bravo, Mr. Rove, and what will be your next trick? Nuking Los Angeles and calling it "Balancing the Moral Paradigm"?

Of course torturing innocent people by the thousands and then letting them go without ever holding a trial would produce the kind of enemy that a pre-911 world would have never imagined and only a GOP post-911 view could have created in its deranged power lust.

Thanks for passing the Patriot Act, however, which has made possible just how many arrests and convictions of terrorists? Ah huh, national security my ass!

If the Economy or National Security will not work or pass the red face test, perhaps an oldie but goodie known to lift sagging GOP poll numbers may do the trick?

-On The War on Terror: The Republican majority has created many more terrorists than ever existed before, united them under one flag of purpose, and garnered them world support. Something no doubt to lead a party platform with.

But to be fair, the Republican-led shock and awe did make a pit stop to Afghanistan in the uber heroic post 9-11 juggernaut, and managed with the grace of a bank robber to reinstate the Taliban and reclaim the heroin trade. (See HERE, and HERE). Osama who? Maybe they will have better luck when they next invade a country, which seems to be relatively soon.

But aside from this staggering array of "accomplishments" there have been some setbacks for the Greed Oil Party, namely, Greed, Oil, and Partying at the expense of everything else - and bribery not just for lobbyists either, but for anyone with a wallet.

One if by land, two if by sea, three of by greed:

Bribery of the President, the Speaker of the House by a foreign nation (Buy the issue of Vanity Fair if you can, because you will not find the full article online), the House Majority leader by a foreign nation, and in general a large part of the Republican syndicate in Congress, are all just blips, smallish scandals really, nothing that will take away from the "freedom is on the march" slogan for 2006 of which Karl no doubt dreams.

What about bribing columnists and reporters? What about just fabricating news altogether? Is any of this a party platform list of accomplishments to be proud of?

How about bribing church leaders to abuse the public trust for political gains? Or aside from all the bribery Republicans can buy, what about faking evidence, lying to Congress, and misleading a nation into war?
How digestible is this much post-911 patriotism?

Then again, Karl might role out another gay-bashing campaign to bring out the hate voters. He can even have the gay members of the Republican party wield the holy hate sword against their own in despicable hypocrisy. Yet we do know so much more now about the nature of the GOP gay agenda and its peddlers, including so much more about just who is gay and who is not gay, that I wonder if such a move would be wise?

After all, it is not every election cycle that the head of the RNC wheels out his homophobic agenda while at the same time bedding cute guys and defending the presence of a gay male hooker posing as a journalist and sitting only 10 feet from the President of the United States. Maybe that California congressman or those other few in various states would prefer to avoid the whole gay hate thing, given their own sexual preferences?

In any case, helluva job Rovie. Oh, and go ahead, bring on your post-911 worldview. Point for Point, your post 9-11 bullshit will be reinserted back where it belongs.

Bet on it!!