Monday, December 26, 2005

The End of Political Humor as We Know It
The End of Political Humor as We Know It
Tom D'Antoni

Hear ye! Hear ye! I proclaim the end of political humor. Sorry, Al. Sorry, Harry. Wait, are there any others? Please, don’t even mention O’Rourke, he hasn’t been funny since 1971.

Forget my post here from a couple weeks ago, funny though it was.

It’s not even funny to compare Bush to a monkey anymore.
Or to Alfred E. Neuman. It’s just not funny.

I’m sitting in a coffee shop in Portland, Oregon wondering if the wi-fi is sending my emails to the NSA, or to James Dobson or Pat Robertson or any other member of the Republican al-Qaeda (remember, that’s Osama for “the base”). Because you know, where as there may be dedicated professionals at NSA who have no agenda other than to protect the American republic, you have to remember that they work for crooks who would invade their mother’s grave if it had oil under it.

Gallows humor, that’s what it is. “What’s the worst that could happen?” we asked after the Diebold referendums in 2004. You’re looking at it. And it’s not funny.

We who are about to die write jokes.

Think about how many times in the past year or so you have said the words, “You can’t write something like that, nobody would believe it.” Believe it.

We Americans torture, kill, hate, steal, lie and ignore the Constitution. How long will it be before someone else who has a lot of weapons decides to retaliate? And when they do, if the current bunch is still holding power, how much worse will it be for you and me?

Say they attack us again. Say thousands of people die again. Not only will the Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) not take responsibility for not protecting us, but may give us a sequel to the “Patriot” Act that will allow them to suspend an election or two.

Bush will point to a Congressional authorization found in some small phrase stuck in some piece of legislation in the dead of night and passed by an unsuspecting Congress. His arrogant defense of NSA spying is merely a preview.

See? I’ve stopped being funny.

Ok, how’s this? Bush, Cheney and Rove walk into a bar.

There’s no punch line.

They’re not funny.

Korea is funny. T’ings wit a “K” sound are funny.” Sorry, I was channeling The Sunshine Boys.