Tuesday, June 29, 2004


(Humor from http://borowitzreport.com/)

Drops F-bomb Twelve Times During U.K. Visit

Vice President Dick Cheney scandalized the United Kingdom today, cussing out Queen Elizabeth II in what observers said was his most profanity-laden tirade to date.

Mr. Cheney was at Buckingham Palace to witness the knighting of legendary British journalist Harold Evans when the Queen made what one source called “a snarky remark” about the vice president’s relationship with the Halliburton Company.

At that point, observers said, Mr. Cheney “launched the f-bomb” at the Queen no fewer than a dozen times, shocking the dignitaries attending Sir Harold’s investiture.

“Mind your own [bleeping] business, you [bleeping] old [bleep],” Mr. Cheney was quoted as saying.

“Cheney has the mouth of a sailor, which is odd for someone who did everything he could to stay out of the Navy,” one observer said.

But according to Charles, the Prince of Wales, after Mr. Cheney’s f-bomb barrage was over the Queen stood her ground and returned fire with a potty-mouthed attack of her own.

“When it comes to cussing, my mother’s language can peel paint,” Prince Charles proudly told reporters. “After all, she learnt at the feet of the master – the Queen Mother. That old bag could drop the f-bomb with the best of them, may she rest in peace.”

The filthy war of words between the Queen and the vice president was carried live on worldwide television, meaning that both dignitaries could now face FCC fines topping well over $1 billion.

Mr. Cheney took the fines in stride, telling reporters that they would be paid for with revenue from Iraqi oil.